


Absolution

by twixtnightandmorn



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twixtnightandmorn/pseuds/twixtnightandmorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everyone forgives me, but I cannot forgive myself..." Free verse from the viewpoint of the former Dark Lord Revan as she deals with her past. Rated T for suicide theme. Previously published as Revan's Suicide under an old account, rewritten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

Another face rises in my mind, and I answer its accusing glare with a flash of my blade.

Red blood wells from the cut and fills my senses, driving the pain from my soul.

_Slice_

Don't let the pain stop. When the pain stops is when we forget.

Forget everything we are guilty of, everything that makes us undeserving of happiness

_Slice_

I sent him away so I could do this, he thinks he's off getting food for dinner, but he isn't

He's getting me time to go through the pain, to keep myself from forgetting

Don't come back yet, my love. I can't stand you seeing me like this

_Slice_

But I can't stop, can't let the pain stop. Can't let myself forget my crimes.

I was supposed to save them all, but in the end I just destroyed them.

_Slice_

The blood is dripping off my arm, soaking into the carpet

Carth isn't going to be happy when he comes home and sees this big red spot.

_Slice_

But I can't stop, maybe if I just keep going, they'll forgive me.

Maybe if I just keep going, I'll forgive myself.

_Slice_

I start seeing black spots in my eyes, but I keep cutting.

Can't pass out, can't stop. I haven't been punished enough.

_Slice_

The door opens and I hear his footsteps, but I don't stop.

Almost done, almost done.

_Slice_

"Beautiful? Where are you?" More steps. A pause, angry.

"Revan! What the hell are you doing?"

_Slice_

"Stop it, give me the knife!"

No, this is my penance. My absolution, if that can even be reached.

"Let go! Give it to me!"

_Fading…_

"Oh Force there's so much blood, so much blood."

He feels so far away, but then again so do they, my million ghosts.

"Don't close your eyes, dammit, they won't open again if you close them!"

_Fading…_

"Revan! REVAN!"

Wet, but not blood; salty and sweet. Tears? Why is he crying for a monster?

"Medic! I need a medic, she's dying! She..."

_Fading…_

Goodbye, my love. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.

 

 

 

 

**"No!"**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Silence._


End file.
